He disabled his match.com account in front of me
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
