Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize