I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
