I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
