I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
