ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
