If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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