Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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