I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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