when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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