U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
