Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
