I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
