i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
