Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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