I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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