well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
