I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
