Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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