i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
