Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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