Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
