She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Panties = found
Randomize
