Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
