$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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