i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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