Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm going to jail i love you
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
