Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
