i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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