Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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