New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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