but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
