Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
