Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
