we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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