He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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