I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
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He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
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I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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