there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
