um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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