Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize