The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
