You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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