how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
