Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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