If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
