Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
