I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
