He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
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i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
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Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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