i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
