i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
