WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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