Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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