mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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