In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
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All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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