At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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