just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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