Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
