Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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