OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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