I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
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no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
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No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?