I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize