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But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
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