This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
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Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
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His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid