you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID