Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...