I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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