Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
